Adult Picky Eaters UK

For Picky-Eating Adults in the UK and worldwide

Fighting The Haters January 20, 2008

Filed under: adult picky eaters — Claire @ 1:51 am

Did you know there’s a Facebook group called Anti-Picky Eaters?  Whaddya think of that, huh?  I don’t know about you, but I’m not impressed.  Here are some delightful snippets of the type of sentiment they endorse:

  • JUST EAT IT YOU FRIGGIN BABIES!
  • I absolutely friggen hate it when people say they hate a food when they’ve never even tried it before…Eat up you pussies!
  • Picky eating is morally suspect behavior.
  • If one is a picky eater, chances are better that one is, for lack of a better term, a jerk.

Firstly, I object to the prurience of even caring what somebody else does or doesn’t want to eat.  I really don’t get why it bothers them, or why they feel entitled to object to other people’s personal preferences and verbally abuse us on these grounds.  I have asked why it bothers them, but no-one on the group has been able to offer an answer.  They don’t even want to engage with the question.

But secondly, and more importantly, I object because these people obviously don’t get it.  Either it hasn’t occurred to them that we can’t help it (and actually, why should we, if we’re happy like this?), and they genuinely think we do it to piss them off, or, they know fine well that we can’t help it, and they are bullies that just enjoy abusing people, and they see what they think is an opportunity here.  I’ve tried to explain it to them, but to no avail.

It strikes me that this group is actually in contravention of the Facebook Terms of Use.  Attacking an individual or group.  Abusive or objectionable content.  I’ve reported them.  If you object to being dissed for being picky, feel free to do the same.

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16 Responses to “Fighting The Haters”

  1. Meredith Says:

    Wow, as a 19 year old facebook user I’m pissed. This is my biggest pet peve. I HATE when people try and force me to eat something when I physically can’t. We are hard enough on ourselves as it is, and we do not need more people criticizing us. I am going to get all my friends to report this too. Thanks for the update!

  2. Jack Says:

    I’ll shall do the same.
    As a male picky eater I often encounter such belligerent behavior. After all a real manley-man can eat any kind of slop.
    So there must be something really wrong with me. I’ve got a brother in law juts like that, I don’t know why it bothers him so.

    I’m sure that kind of behavior only compensates for some other inadequacies on their part. I betcha their wives could tell us.

    Jack

  3. Alex Says:

    I wonder if facebook would allow a group that was anti anorexic people?? i very much doubt it because this is a more high profiled ED to picky eaters! I’m sure there wouldnt be comments like ‘fatten up skinny’ or the like allowed on it. I do think its very unfair and i’ll join in reporting this group, not that i believe it will do much good as i believe the group creator will just start another

  4. Brian T Says:

    So it’s come to this… I find it hard to believe there are people in the world who would feel compelled to start a group like this or even that there are others who would even join… but I guess that’s the world we live in… people with nothing better to do with there time than to put others down. (very sad)
    Hi Claire
    It’s been along time, I hope your doing well and it looks like you’ve caught fire again…
    I think I last posted in Dec. 2006
    Email me if you like… it would be nice to catch up.

    Brian T.

  5. Methuseleh Says:

    Oooohh I would love to meet these people in person. POW!! Er…officer, I swear, I was trying to swat away a bee from this man’s face, I was a bit too excited…. Seriously these people are unemployed and have nothing better to do than bully people and make enemies.

  6. fiona Says:

    geezs this people are so anoying is not the word but i can’t think of anythign eles , i hate how people always want to comment on what i eat and dont when i think you don’t have to eat it so why bother and websites like that just show that they don’t know and don’t give a damn about how food affects picky eaters.

  7. mandy Says:

    the reason why people care what fussy eaters don’t eat – is because we spend time + energy + thought + care + money in preparing food, and a fussy eater sits down, turns their nose up and doesn’t eat it. my husband is one such person, and i’m tired of trying to find dishes he will eat – because after three hours in the kitchen, to have someone not eat your meal just because ‘they don’t like it’ – is quite rude. i often eat food when i don’t find it brilliant, because i don’t wish to cause offense. others hide behind the term ‘fussy eater.’ there has to be a middle road.

  8. Anna Says:

    7 mandy

    That doesn’t explain why people care when we’re out at a restaurant and they had nothing to do with making the food. It doesn’t explain why nearly everyone who I every tell that I don’t drink alcohol says “oh, you haven’t found the right drink yet” and proceeds to ask me if I’ve tried this drink and that drink and blah blah blah, as though it’s a personal affront to them that I don’t drink.

    You’re welcome to eat food you “don’t find brilliant”. That’s great, and I’m glad you can do that, but all that statement means is that you don’t understand picky/fussy eaters. It’s not a matter of not finding something ‘brilliant’. The problem is that other people consider food often simply don’t register as food to us. Try eating dirt or leaves or something and pretending it’s food.

    I could try to eat things I dislike, but honestly I think it would be more offensive to have to gag or spit it out or throw up than to just decline in the first place.

    That said, I’m not unsympathetic to the families of picky eaters. When my parents cooked things they knew I didn’t like, they would often make a portion of it plain, if that was possible, or if it wasn’t, I could make my own meal, once I learned to cook. Your husband could cook his own meals, so you could each have what you like without having to stress yourself about his dietary issues.

  9. mandy Says:

    i find it interesting that you would draw such a wild analogy as, “try eating dirt or leaves and pretending it’s food.”

    i believe comments like this alienate the fussy eater even more so.

    and that you assume that it would be more offensive to gag or spit it out — actually, i would prefer to see some physical repulsion to the food i have spent 3 hours preparing, rather than a mere upturned nose and a ‘i don’t like it.’

    seeing a physical response would perhaps make me understand more – because at the moment, the ‘i don’t like’ it sounds quite childish (from my husband, obviously i understand there are varying degrees of this – and his is notably not nearly as severe as most peoples here.)

    obviously this is a large part of your identity, anna, and you feel the need to defend it – but i’m discussing my husband, largely, and to me the answer is not he cooking seperate meals (what life is that?) – but finding a middle ground.

    fortunately husband doesn’t hide behind his fussy eating too much, and had agreed to work on this with me. something to be learned from that, perhaps?

  10. Anna Says:

    mandy,

    Please stop being so condescending. It’s unnecessary and rude. It sounds like you think you’re better than us fussy eaters and you think know everything about our ‘issues’ and how we can or should deal with them. Regardless of your husband, you obviously know very little about picky eating and no matter what you think you’ve gleaned from reading one comment, you know nothing about me.

    Being a picky eater is not, in fact, a large part of my identity at all; it simply is a fact. (I suppose I should point out that the reason I’ve replied so quickly to this comment is because the computer and internet are, on the other hand, a big part of my life.) It’s people like you who force it to be a much bigger issue than it is by making another person’s pickiness about YOU rather than about THEM. It’s not about you, it was never about you, and by making it about you, you’re turning someone else’s actual problem into a personal insult. Do you have any idea how absolutely ridiculous that is?

    You say would prefer to see someone gag or spit out food that just to have them not eat it in the first place. I’m sorry, but that’s just plain nasty, and not only meaning disgusting but also meaning cruel. You want a person to eat something that makes them ill just to satisfy your curiosity? Are you listening to yourself?

    Cooking separate meals IS a middle ground. Maybe not the one you’re looking for, but it is one. You don’t have to do it every night, but if you want to make something he can’t eat, then you still can. You don’t have to complain about trying to find things he likes all the time.

    I don’t ‘hide behind my fussy eating’, as you put it. I deal with it, as I have dealt with it my whole life.

  11. Claire Says:

    I thought I was going to have to step in here, but I can see that won’t be necessary, other than a round of applause 🙂

    I would like to add though, that the phrase “turning one’s nose up” is (to my mind) really offensive in the context of picky eating. You couldn’t be further from the mark, mandy, if this is how you think it is. It is a shame that some people take other people’s limitations so personally, and as Anna says, picky eating really isn’t about you.

    Also, it may well be that you find the “eating dirt or leaves” analogy wild or far-fetched, but believe it or not, that really is how it is for us. We’re trying to reach out and explain it in a way other people can understand, and it really is dispiriting to be met with this type of response. It is not the analogy that alienates us, but people’s unwillingness to believe what we tell them about how it is for us. It is upsetting, I won’t pretend it isn’t.

  12. mandy Says:

    it’s surprising that you don’t consider this a considerable part of your identity when you have dedicated a blog to the issue.

    best of luck in life.

  13. Claire Says:

    Yes, well, you seem to find a lot of things surprising.

    Personally, I find it surprising that you haven’t apologised for the hurt you’ve been causing.

    Best of luck to you too.

  14. Kate Says:

    People that refuse to even try foods they’ve never had are simply being closed-minded, stubborn and immature-not to mention rude to those that cook the meals. I lived with a friend that said he only liked very bland food because thats what he grew up on. He wouldn’t eat vegetables, fruits, spicy foods and the list went on and on. Did you know that it takes eight weeks for a persons tastebuds to adjust to different flavors than he/she is used to? People do not have to be such picky eaters, they simply choose to be closed minded. People in third world countries don’t have the luxery of being so childishly picky when it comes to food. In America, we have varities of food to choose from…then you have the picky eaters who act like spoiled little babies by refusing to even try the majority of them. Nevermind that they come off as rude and juvenile but they are also doing themselves a disservice by letting their closed minded mentality rob them of the nourishment their body is craving. Picky eaters: stop acting so absurd and grow up, already. Your insistence on acting like toddlers when it comes to eating is quite obnoxious and actually offensive to real adults.

  15. John Says:

    When ever I go out to eat with them it’s always mcdonalds or Pizza hut. I love exploring new and interesting foods, I truly think it’s sad I can’t share that with others and that I suffer because of it. Basically it makes a dinning out experience boring.

    When I cook for them I have to ask what they dont like, I can’t just cook and be creative. And when they say grilled cheese or chicken noodle soup, it doesn’t let me cook wonderful, diverse and balanced meals. As a former cook I find it heart breaking. And worst of all is when I have a new partner and they say cook “whatever” and then when I’m halfway through cooking call them to make sure they are still on schedule they tell me what I’m making they “can’t eat”.

    And Kate I fully agree with you.

  16. Y Says:

    personally, i think it’s people who can even work up enough energy to care what other people like or do not like to eat who are immature, but whatever.

    as a matter of basic politeness and hospitality, i always ask people who come over to my house to eat whether or not they like what i plan to make. if they don’t like it, why would i be offended? i will just make something else they do like instead, because unlike *some* people, what matters to me is that people enjoy themselves. i have no idea why you would want your guests to lie to you that your food is delicious when they are actually revolted by it and spend their night wishing they just had not visited in the first place, just because it makes you feel good. that kind of attitude seems so selfish to me.


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