Adult Picky Eaters UK

For Picky-Eating Adults in the UK and worldwide

How Do Picky Eaters Feel About Curry? January 20, 2007

Filed under: Personal Stories,picky eaters — Claire @ 1:46 am

So asked my dear brother last week, in advance of a family meal at his house.  I was very touched that he asked me, and I confirmed that I can’t do curry, and I’d prefer pizza, but I’m perfectly happy to be the odd one out, and I don’t want to deprive anyone of their curry.

So then the evening arrived, and to my surprise, it had been determined that everyone should have pizza.  For some reason, it was considered important that everyone should eat the same thing.  Being picky, I don’t share this view, because that would entail forcing my extreme food preferences on others, and that’s not nice.  And so I felt bad for expressing my pizza preference, not knowing that it would mean pizza for everyone, even those who would have preferred curry.

I would have felt better if instead of curry he had suggested something which, while not being my favourite meal, was nevertheless something I could manage to eat.  Then I wouldn’t have been eating one of my favourite things, when everyone else would have preferred the original suggestion.  As it was, I was catered to 100%, (which I do appreciate very much), but I feel bad that it was at the expense of others.  Am I worrying about this too much?


6 Responses to “How Do Picky Eaters Feel About Curry?”

  1. Doug Says:

    Were there kids there? I can easily see them saying “Hey, how come she gets to have pizza?” That’s the kind of thing I worry about when I have to have my own special meal different from everyone else, though it has yet to actually happen.

  2. Claire Says:

    Ah, no. Everyone was 29 and above, and everyone knows about my eating.

    I can see why you’d worry about that, but I mean, if you were a vegetarian, or had some sort of medical intolerance, you wouldn’t think twice about having your food needs met. I don’t see why it should be different for picky eaters. Having said that of course, I do believe that forcing oneself in a social situation can often end up being a valuable step on the road to expanding one’s eating.

    Also, in a restaurant, it is common practice for diners to order different meals. In fact, I think I read somewhere recently that people in restaurants prefer not to order the same thing as eachother…

  3. S Says:

    If your hosts want to honor your request by providing pizza, they have 2 choices: 1) Cook or buy two separate meals (in this case of curry vs pizza, probably from 2 separate restaurants and definitely from 2 separate recipes if they’re cooking at home), which can be expensive and inconvenient, or 2) Just have pizza for everyone, because it’s only one night and we don’t want Claire to starve and the company is more important than what we have to eat anyway. If it were me doing the cooking or buying the food, I would definitely choose the second option. They probably also didn’t want to single you out by making a big deal out of providing a special meal just for you.

  4. Claire Says:

    Fair point, S. I think I probably was worrying about it too much. You do feel bad though, because I have no desire to control what other people eat.

  5. A good host’s main concern is making their guests happy. They made you happy which I’m sure made them happy. They can have curry the next night with just as much pleasure. Don’t worry about it and instead sing their praises as great dinner hosts.

  6. Claire Says:

    Yeah. I think part of the reason this made me feel bad is because a) We are talking about my brother, who’s known me all my life, who grew up with me my whole life long. And the company consisted of our parents and other sibling. To me, that makes it a family meal, not a dinner party. And b)having my food needs met with such acceptance was not the way it was when we were growing up, so within the context of my family, it feels wrong, and me guilty and selfish and flawed. This is what I was trying to express, not to seek reassurance. They love me anyway, I know that.

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