Most people haven’t heard of adult picky eating. Many don’t have much patience with it. For adults who are picky, it can seem like you’re the only person in the world who is like this. It can be very isolating, and the responses of others can be very painful.
Some picky eaters have been punished, teased, ridiculed, or judged badly for their picky eating, which is painful because it is not something we can help, it’s just the way we are. Many feel ashamed of their pickiness, and go to great lengths to hide it, often limiting their social lives, contact with family, and romantic relationships for fear of being found out, and not understood or accepted. Picky eaters often dread social or work-related eating situations – Will there be anything I can eat? What if there isn’t? Will the host be offended? It can be embarrassing to not be able to eat what others eat, enjoy what others enjoy, like what others like. People know about pickiness in children, but in adults it is much rarer - for adults suffering something typically associated with children, this can be difficult and embarrassing.
It can often feel as if there is a stigma around our food habits. For many picky eaters, the few foods that they can eat tend to be “unhealthy” things, like junk food, or else very plain things – the “sophisticated” and the exotic are not for the most part things we can eat. I worry that people think I eat what I eat because that’s what I prefer out of all the vast range of things I “could” be eating. But the reality is that the majority of foods are things I can’t eat, much as I would like to. I eat what I eat not out of choice, but because that’s all I’ve can eat.
And eating is a very social thing in our culture. People like to cook for others and share meals. So many social encounters revolve around food to some extent. It seems other people can feel rejected, or distanced from us by our inability to eat with them.
If you’d like to share what picky eating has been like for you, and how it’s made you feel, do post a comment.
I am 44 and have felt like a freak in the eating department for years i dont eat meat or vegetables though i can cook both and both my children eat them!
I have spent most of my life eating crisps jam doughnuts sweets and crisps mainly since i was 2yrs old.i am over weight at the moment but only around my tummy my arms and legs have never been big, that is because i stopped smoking and have eaten more of waht i like over the last three years.
I didnt realise how many suffered in some shape or form of the same problems as me. Worrying they were different, about dying, missing out on social things,if there is any help and support please help me? If i have helped someone not feel so alone then i am glad. Gill
I know the feeling, I came from Vancouver to the US ten years ago and I am engaged to a man from Cardiff who is at least a fussy eater. In every job I have had the business lunches and dinners can fill me with dread, if its Italian I cant eat pasta or bread I’m allergic to Tomamtos and any meat with anything other than HP makes me gag. I think in the States it would be ok if I could eat take away or junk then I would at least blend here, but Mcdonalds, KFC and that sort of thing I gag at the smell of it, I dislike Soda and crisp also I am a freak here because I really hate Pizza. I’m not over weight but since my eating habits are so selective I cant build any kind of muscle. Its kind of funny and sad at my gym the nutritionist gave my this list of foods to eat and exept for chicken, fish and red meat I wont or cant eat anything else on her list of 50 items and said so which she then ridiculed me in front of the whole gym and stated its in my head and I should see a phych. I did lose it and as my boyfriend says I let loose a string of f-ing and blinding that would make Gordon Ramsey blush. So thank you Gill for letting me know I’m not the only one.
Hi.To be picky with what we eat, leads us to a certain alien-category, amongst the rest of the world. In my case, i simply can’t eat anything with garlic or vinegar. When i was a child, i hated vegetables or seafood, but, with some effort in 25 years, i finally manage it a bit (still, not in every variety…)Anyway, it’s good to know there are other “aliens” like me, who simply don’t eat everything we’re supposed to, because it’s healthy, social or whatever…
I love this website and at the age of 53 I can’t believe there are so many of us that have been made to feel like a freak because of our eating habits. For me my pickiness stems from smells. If I don’t like the smell I am not going to like the taste. To me foods taste exactly like they smell. As an adult I have been able to eat a more varied menu, but it is still restrictive. I am more a meat and potatoe person who doesn’t eat vegetables. I don’t like any condoments to include salad dressings, mayo, mustard, ketchup, etc. The smell of garlic, cooking or otherwise, nauseates me. I had one so called friend when I was about 44 years old that I needed to grow up with my eating choices. Needless to say that friendship soured very quickly for me.
Thank you for this website.
Hi Patricia and Laura. Welcome.
I’m the same about the smell of garlic, and onions too. I also find the smell of wild garlic utterly nauseting. Seriously. I have to run away from it.
Wow. My college roommate, and long-time friend, was a picky eater. She was exactly as you say- wouldn’t eat most veggies, especially those that were green, and called broccoli “little trees”. I was raised in a very adventurous family and have always loved food, no matter what it is! When we would go out to eat she always ordered the fried whatnot for an appetizer and then something bland for her meal. If I tried to get her to eat something other than this (usually with force and fun-making), she would turn green and get really upset. I always blamed it on her parents for not “making” her eat properly as she told me they used to feed her butter noodles and frozen chicken nuggets and no veg constantly. Now I am not sure if that was it. (Comments on that thoery?) She and I worked for years together in restaurants and she overcame MOST of her food fears (Still orders the tempura-fried something and leaves out the broccoli when we all go out for Sushi). She now eats curries and other tasty things, so there is hope. I guess I should be proud of her! Thanks for bringing my attention to something I didn’t think existed!!
Wow! I can’t believe there is a website just for us! I’ve been ridiculed by family and friends for my picky eating, never took them seriously. Just took it as a mild personality quirk. I’ve always been a thin person because of my finicky eating. But starting to gain weight a bit in my early 30s because I tend to enjoy junk food. I especially refuse to eat seafood. The smell is nasty. I also prefer simply prepared foods without tons of ingredients. I enjoy plain pasta with tomato sauce or Alfredo sauce, and bread. Lots of bread. Just recently I started to enjoy chicken again. I think this alls stems from my childhood, a control issue between my mother and I. She never invited me in the kitchen to help prepare meals…it was her “domain”. She’s quite domineering in other aspects, as well. So I think i transferred the control issue to my food that she prepared.
Thanks for not protecting the source of your difficulty, as a competitive and domineering part of your mother’s personality. Too many people protect the misdeeds of their original programmers and beat themselves up for it instead. They believe that they are self made and not a product of parental programming. Symptoms serve a purpose of managing anger away from who one is actually angry at.
Good luck and keep up the dynamic thinking:)
This is very interesting. I always just thought I was being self-indulgent. I can’t stand most vegetables or fruits. My freinds and family have a joke that if its healthy, I don’t like it. Most of these foods I have never tried and just thinking about eating them makes me shudder. I am never interested in trying ethnic foods. (I went to EPCOT and had a hard time finding anything to eat until I got to the American section and had a hot dog.) I’m also inconsistent to other people. How can I not like tomatoes when I like sphaghetti and pizza? It feels good to know that I am not alone in this and that I’m not just being a stubborn brat.
Coleen,
You are not alone, but until today I thought we were.
We sound very similar. I too do not eat fruits or vegtables and just about anything healthy. I can handle green grapes, cherries, and bananas, thats about it. Apple pie but not apples. My joke is that I have a Chlorophyll allergy.
You like hot dogs, I’ve never had one but survive on hamburgers. However I like you, love cheese Pizza, pasta with red sauce only but will not try tomatoes…
Your not a brat, if thats the case I’m a 58 year old brat. I’m sure like me you would give anything to be normal, but for some reason we are wired differently.
- Jack
Oh my, what a surprise to discover a place for picky eaters. I’m one of the “no touch” people. I will go to great lengths even as an adult to make sure my food does not touch. If it touches, can’t eat it. Also, eat my food clockwise one item at a time. One of my goals in life, to die without ever making a fried egg. Considering I grew up in OK with a family that ate fried eggs, the smell alone would make me throw up….spent breakfast time in my bedroom. I have two grown children, and my daughter had “fried eggs” when she stayed with one of her grandparents for a summer week. Well guess what? She came home and asked me to “fry” her an egg…..I can still see her at the age of 7-8 at the stove while I’m in the dining area, yelling directions on how to fry an egg. I think someone said it best, I expect food to taste like it smells, and I can still gag from some smells and I definitely don’t touch anything that smells bad. I do eat a better variety of foods as an adult but many items are still very taboo. No gravy, no sauces, no touching, very limited on fruit and vegetables and then only if their prepared or left raw according to each individual item. I still order the exact same food at a cafeteria that I ate as a child…….in fact all through elementary and high school I would not spend the night at a friend’s house until after the dinner hour or I just would not go….I really think I’m okay…it just bothers other people.
This is a great place…..
I am so glad I found this site! I’ve only met one other adult picky eater in my entire life.
Colleen and Jack’s comments about tomatoes sounds exactly like me. I love marinara sauce but hate tomatoes. Many years ago I somehow got the courage to try a tomato slice. I couldn’t get a drink of water fast enough. For some reason I thought it would taste like ketchup. The texture was worse.
The main food groups I avoid are fruits and vegetables. I love the taste of most fruits, but I can’t stand their texture. I love apple juice, but can’t stand apples or apple sauce. I hate strawberries but love strawberry smoothies. The only fruits that I will eat in their real form are pineapples and bananas, although I must have a strong desire for bananas. The only veggies I eat are potatoes, corn, and black-eyed peas.
My mom has told me that I didn’t become a picky eater until I started kindergarten. She says that before I started school, I ate anything that was served to me. She thinks that I picked up the habit from other kids, but I think it’s b/c the school lunches were so bad. There were many days when all I had for lunch was my chocolate milk (can’t stand regular milk).
I used to hate going to a friend’s house for dinner with his/her parents. Most of the time my friends would clue their mom into my eating habits so there were at least two items I could eat, but still it was embarassing.
I’ve learned to make fun of my eating habits with my friends. I tell them that I’m a carnivore, not a herbivore. Just about every restaurant these days has chicken tenders, which is my fall back if I can’t find anything on the menu. But it is a pain to order chicken tenders off the children’s menu!
i can’t believe there are actually people who understand what this is like! my brother and i are both picky eaters (with different taboo foods) and we have an omnivore sister. i have one child who eats “normally” and always has (age 14), and one who is extremely picky (age 11) and one who is moderately picky (although since he is only two, we’ll see.) my grandma used to tell my mother i would be malnourished and growth retarded. (i’m not). i still try occasionally to add foods to my menu, but it’s usually a disaster. pickles are revolting in every form. i did force myself to eat home-grown tomatoes a couple of years ago, and find that IF the seed/goo is scraped out, and IF they are home-grown, i can tolerate IF i really have a strong desire for them at the moment. never had a problem with tomato sauce though. the few veg i tolerate i can usually only eat raw, or sometimes steamed but never ever with butter or sweetened or anything like that. cooked peas trigger instant gag reflex. i cannot swallow. fruits (and a few other foods) sound good, but seldom can actually eat them when it comes to it. they have to be very firm, even just a little green especially bananas. any hint of mush and forget it. like some others, food must not touch on the plate. i like the divided plates, but don’t use them now that i have a family. thanks for having this site.
It’s seems like texture plays a large role in this for a lot of people. I know it does for me! Nothing is worse than peas or baked beans. GROSS!
Colleen,
Oh gee, and I thought we were alike.
I actually ate a couple baked beans many years ago, thought they wre weird and never went back. I don’t eat peas but I could if I was on an island starving.
Of course I would have to bury them in mashed potatoes and butter (never gravy, I’d have to starve).
I know this is not unusual but the the site and smell of artichoke hearts on my plate makes me violently gag. Its so bad that I can’t even swipe them off my plate and stick in a napkin in my pocket.
Which makes me wonder, has anyone out there swiped food off their plate and hid it in their socks?
LOL – suit jackets sent to the cleaners with pockets smelling like brocolli? How about slite of hand tricks where you put slabs of meat BACK onto the platter or even on to someonelses plate? Oh geez I’ve done it all….
Know exacally what that’s like Jack! Forever trying to hide food and pretend we’re ‘normal’. Wish I could go out to dinner and enjoy it instead of having a panic attack. Luckily my partner understands me and usualy helps with the ‘hiding of the food’…
Hi Jemma,
I no longer have panic attacts and have pretty much insulated myself to not care what others think.
I just truly don’t want to insult the host or hostess by not enjoying their meal. This is why I simply avoid these situations. Luckily for me I’m now one of the last family elders that remain employed. What this means is that they all get to come to my house for whatever the occasion is. Its hard on my wife as she gets all the work and then of course I have to pay the expense. However I do get input to the menu and other than Thanksgiving it sure to be a sit where you want, carry your plate buffet.
(You will find me by myself, maybe standing in the kitchen, outside or anywhere away from the crowd.)
Thx
I’m curious about whether any of you (my new brothers and sisters) have had problems with other more usually recognized eating disorders. I have been coping with bulimia, off and on, since I was 18. The vomiting has not been from eating things I didn’t like, but rather from eating too much of those items I do enjoy. At the moment it’s not as bad as it has been at many times in my life, but the most dangerous thing in the world is for me to feel full; it makes me feel like I just have to get rid of all I’ve eaten.
Bulimia – I’ve had the urge, but I’ve never given in to it. Had an anorexic-type-phase for a year or so in my 20s.
Mariclaire, I have never had the compulsion or urge to be bulimic. I can’t stand to throw up. I was however, accused of being anorexic from time to time in my younger days. Especially during my 30’s. Certainly not the case today. In those times I ate like a bird, but I ate all the time and anything I wanted. (usually junk, which would upset my stomach)
My sister’s use to tease me and say that sooner or later it would catch up with me. Well, once I hit 45…it caught up with me…lol. I could never be accused of being anorexic today.
Hi all, just discovered this site and thought I would share my perspective. Ive been a picky eater all my life, 30 years. Well mum said I used to eat things like bananas when I was very young, but as long as i can remember ive been picky. For me its flavours that are too strong and textures that are too gooey/mushy. I like my food plain, one of my favourite sayings is “Sauce is bad”. Spices (not hot spices) are fine, but sauce is bad
. I dont like mixed flavours, I like to eat my foods one flavour at a time, as such I dont like complex foods like Pizza or Pastas. I dont like Tomatoes in any form and I hate strawberries the most. I like carrots raw but not cooked. I hate cheese raw but like it melted ??
I gag when I eat foods I really dont like, and that is the thing i hate the most. I hate it when I gag when im amongst company, I instantly get embarrased and as such that has affected my social life and made me a bit of an introvert. But unlike what seems to be the norm, I dont try to hide it, I tell people all the time that I am a picky eater, id rather tell someone before dinner than get caught during dinner not eating anything.
Im not surprised that there are other out there like me, but im surprised that the stories and what we like and dislike are so similar.
Nice to meet you all.
Hi,
I can’t believe i found this site like many of you i too thought that i was a freak and that no one else suffered like i do, its comforting to know that i’m not alone. I’m only 22 but have suffered all througout my childhood, teenage and my early adult years with being a picky eater, i have even passed off some of my food problems with sayings such as “i’m allergic to that” hich is obviously a lie but to me it helps me from having people look down on me, i can’t stand it when people call me a “fussy eater” i feel embarassed, its not easy its a real problem to me that causes me ifficultie in home life and social situations.
My problem is meat, its strange really i can eat most veg fine but i never cook them just because i have nothing to cook them with really. Meat and veg go well from what i can tell! The only meat i eat is Beef mince and sausages nothing else at all, i try all the time but i can’t eat more than a mouthful, matter how big or how small or how much sauce is covering it without gagging. its embarassing considering i can eat beef mince people think its strange that i can’t eat a roast beef or a steak, but to me its normal.
My mum has always told me that she was concerned about my eating from an early age as when i was a baby all i’d eat was cheese and milk, cheese is still favourite food to this day.
well thanks for letting me get that out of my system
xxx
Hi you three! Thanks for sharing
Wow, I must say I am surprised to see there are so many others who struggle with this issue. I have never met anyone who eats (or doesn’t eat) like I do. I have been a picky eater since I switched to solid foods and very little has changed in the more than 20 years since. I eat peanut butter on soda crackers, some basic cereals, grilled cheese sandwiches (on white bread), tomato soup, cheese pizza, and very little else. No meat, no fruit, no vegetables (except occasionally in liquid – soup or juice – form), no pasta. I have always been embarrassed about it, but it has become increasingly difficult to deal with my eating habits in the professional realm. I keep trying to gag some food down at work events, but it is not getting any easier!
Has anyone had any success in broadening the selection of foods they can tolerate? If so, please share your strategies!
Hey there!
You don’t know how happy i am to have found this site. I am 20 yrs old and been a picky eating since i was little. I thought i was really picky but reading some comments on her im not as much as i thought. I don’t want to be like this anymore and there have been many embarrasing times that have came with it. Not long ago i was at a indian friends house with about 15 other people – i was tired but went cos my friend wanted me to. Anyway when i got there, there was a big selection of indian food, however i freaked out and didn’t want to eat it as i didn’t know what was in it (and i know alot of indian food has onions which is no.1 on the list of what i don’t eat). So his parent kept pushing me to eat and i honestly couldn’t. And everyone started to look my way… it was so humiliating. And other occasions like that have happened so sometimes i just choose not to go. Any tips for helping would help! An idea i have is to write down a list of the foods i don’t eat (which is most veges/fruit) and every week try a new one. Let see if that works…. Nice to meet you all anyway!
Hello! Like so many of you, I am so happy to have found this site. ALthough I am from the United States, I can finally say I don’t feel like a freak anymore. I am 19, and currently in college. My entire life I have suffered from picky eating. As a result, I am always sick and am now malnourished. On the outside I look fine and normal, however, I take about 5 medicines and 15 vitamins daily. I have been to numerous doctors to find out what is wrong with me, but I think it really just comes down getting the right nutrients. I am currently seeing a homeopathic doctor because my mom is concerned about all the medication I am on, however he is the one who is making me take the vitamins? Is there a name for this? Because I am the type who had a completely normal childhood, yet can not physically eat ANYTHING. My diet is limited to carbohydrates. All types of bread. Is there anyway to get rid of this pickiness?
Hey everyone, my boyfriend is a very picky eater. as far as pasta is concerned he will only eat fettucini with the origanal sauce, spaghetti whith the traditional rague sauce and that is it. he only eats peperoni or cheese pizza. he will eat tyson chicken fried never baked. chicken breasts glazed with orange sauce and broiled. wont usually eat fried chicken. hates fruits and vegetables and will only eat green grapes, green apples, and corn. will eat potatoes with pepper never gravy. loves lasagna with cottage cheese on it but cant stand the thought of eating cottage cheese. loves enchiladas, tacos, navajo tacos, basically anything fried and no healthy stuff. nothing on his plate can touch in fact if he can he will use several plates for what he is eating. but most of the time we will have one item meals. i used to think that how pickey he is was childish but now maybe he truely does actually hate all of the food he hates. haha one time i tricked him into eating moose. my mom had cooked it once before and he would not eat it so the next time she made moose steaks i told him we were having steak and he asked what kind and i told him good steak lol. so he ate it and said it was good and we told him the truth after he ate it and he still said he hated moose and the next time we had it he would absoulutely not eat it cause he hated it. another time was he would eat these bbq rib sandwitches from the store at work and loved them for a couple weeks untill he got to reading the package and found out they had pork in them and hasn’t had one since incisting they are gross. another is that he insisted that he hated orange chicken and it took a few trips to the mall i would have orange chicken and he would have pizza till he finally tried a piece and he loved it so much he found a recipie and we perfected it and now that is what we have all the time. even on thanksgiving since he hates turkey. and every other thanksgiving food except potatoes and corn and chocolate pie. he is very specific about the foods he likes and nothing can be combined. so if something has an ingreedient combination he hates he wont touch it even if he likes the foods seperately. but at least now i can come to understand his eating habits.
I am shocked and stunned that there is a website for people just like me!!! I am 28 and have been fussy since the age of 3 or 4. I absolutely hate it!!! My partner is always moaning that his diet is bad because mine is and theres no point cooking 2 separate meals (even though I would). We can never go to nice restaurants and I’m loathed to go to friends for dinner as they just dont ‘get it’. People seem to think that if they’ve cooked it you will eat it but I physically cannot! And don’t you hate it when people say ‘well have you ever even tried it?’ and you haven’t so you can’t give an explanation as to why you wont eat it (obviously I just lie now and say of course I have!!!!).
Has anyone tried hypnotherapy??? I’m seriously considering it.
Hello everyone. I think that it is to cool that there are so many of us. I too will not eat anything green (except green grapes), very limited dairy. Meat I will eat but it does nothing for me and it CAN NOT be red at all. The only veggies that I consume are corn and potatos (what a shock right lol). I also I been told my whole life “what is wrong with you “, “you don’t know what you are missing” , ect. The thing that gets me the most is why people get upset about our eating habits. My mother-n-law truly becomes offended when we have family dinners and I pass certain dishes past me. People don’t beleive me when I say I wish I could eat those things (because I know that they are health) but I just can’t, they make me sick! I have to say that my favorite comment everyone has made is our similarity in tomatos but I love pizza and pasta.
Hello, my boyfriend has a serious problem with food in general, to the point where it really effects me as all I do is worry about what hes doing to himself. He will not touch a potato, 98% of vegetables, Seafood and Fish, most pasta dishes unless made with a particular tomato sauce, wet food, or food with sauces, unless its a certain type of curry or one of his mothers dishes (hes 29 years old). On the other hand he will eat Macdonalds, Kebabs & KFC. Fried Egg (the yolk not the white) and bacon (well done) he will eat thin wafer ham but not thick ham. Meat such as beef has to be cut finely, if too thick then he wont eat it. He continously snacks on crisps and sweets, sometimes binging on them (most night he wakes up and snacks on sweets and wont stop until there is none left). I really could go on forever, he shows definate signs of OCD which I think runs through the family and some of them are picky eaters too. I know this effects him because he is always lathargic, sometimes hes depressed, always moaning that he doesnt feel well and that he’s tired yet can sleep in the excess of 12-14 hrs. I’m so worried that all the fatty fried food and junk he’s consuming is killing him and although he says he knows he should change he never does and I really dont know what to do?
hi. im mike. Well im a 19 year old college student who has been picky since i was a child. Now that im older i really hate it but cant seem to change or get past it. My parents say that it is just psychological and all i need to do is just suck it up and eat it. Well i cant. The texture, scent, and taste of most things just will not literally allow me to hold them down. As an adult now, i often go to eat with my friends and family and feel like a complete idiot. When all my friends order their salads and soups and what not, i order a cheeseburger or chicken fingers or something simple and plain. I do not eat hardly any vegetables and/or fruits. Very very few. Besides all of the awkwardness when it come to eating, i am currently pursuing a career in the fire service. I have always been very athletic and “skinny”. I am 6′0″ and currently weigh around 155lbs. Now it may not seem like that bad, but the thing is i am not the size i need to be to become a firefighter. I do go to the gym and work out constantly, but there is only so much muscle i can build with so little fat from the selective foods i eat. I take protein shakes and some multivitamins. But the thing is that i need to eat properly and get all my proper nutrition but how is that when i eat close to nothing that helps me out? it really sucks when your family can eat regular meals every night, but you are there with cereal bowl cause you wont eat what is made. Any one feel me? Would love to hear back.
ciao.
.mike
Mike – when I was in high school I’d sit down to an empty plate and make my own dinner while my family had lasagna or whatever. I think it made it worse, anyway, I know how you feel.
I eat fruits and veggies but am particular about which veggies I can eat. I don’t think nuts are food. I don’t eat cream sauces or cheese except for melted cheese. I do eat yogurt now. The smell of eggs makes me want to vomit. I don’t like to mix things together. I will eat pizza and chips, I will not eat burgers or fish but will eat chicken and steak. Oh yeah, no meatloaf or anything like that. And no mystery food! I usually avoid sauces and condiments. I love some really spicy food but not others, for example I get physically ill from curry. I do tend to eat the same things all the time. Also lately my stomach seems more sensitive (or else it won’t accept new things I try).
For me it probably stems from control issues, no big mysteries there. In addition to a fat-phobia I inherited from my mother
My parents never “gave in”, I just refused to eat until I moved out on my own. Apparently I used to throw tantrums every day at mealtime – I remember being hungry, but wouldn’t eat. I used to fill up on cookies and sweets: out of hunger, not out of being a pig. I hardly ate at all in my teens and developed thyroid issues, vitamin deficiencies, and was really underweight for a time when I lived off cigarettes, diet coke and hostess cupcakes! It’s bad for your head too.
Mostly I have avoided eating at all in front of people, or pretend I already ate, etc., or even admit that I’m fussy and laugh it off. Usually I can find things at restaurants. I think I have overcome lots of it and make real efforts to have a moderate and balanced diet… Also I have taken vitamins my entire life and take 3 or 4 every morning. I’m at my ideal body weight and will take action if/when that changes.
Nonetheless, lately it has been more of an issue (professionally). Apparently I am not acting “normal” and it is apparently ok to talk to me like I am 6 years old about it. I am frankly annoyed that this is still an issue at age 30, and am less frustrated with myself than I am with anyone who thinks it is acceptable to scrutinize and ridicule my habits. I’ve given up cigarettes and alcohol and fizzy drinks, not to mention worked hard on the whole “food issue” – and think anyone who wants to give me trouble about my slightly eccentric dining habits can f*** the h*ll off
Am currently trying to figure out how to say this assertively but politely.
I love you all for being on this blog, I wish I’d found it years ago!
Hello everyone, i found this site months ago but have ever left a message. But I felt the need to after an incident with a friend. As many of your know holidays can be difficult. My immediate family has gotten used to my eating habits so there is no real issue with them. But I moved away and one of my friends loves to have the big holiday dinners at her place. I try to be quiet so not to call attention to myself but, this past Easter one of my friends noticed that all I was eating was bread. He looked at me and said, “Is that all your eating?” Me getting very embarrassed started nervously laughing and I said I will have more later. He quickly responded with, “this isn’t funny, we are going to talk about this later.” Luckily that didn’t happen.
The next incident with the same friend we were working on a project and took a break to get some food at sandwich restaurant. I asked my boyfriend to get me some bread with cheese then I walked away so I wasn’t there when he asked for my weird request. My friend comes up to me and asked what I was ordering. I told him and he asked, “are you self conscience about your appearance?” This question caught me off guard so I think I looked guilty but I responded no. He then went on to say, “Are you lying to me, cause that is bull s***.” I told him no again. Weeks later that incident is still in my head. I know he is just a concern friend but geez I felt like crawling into a corner.
As much as your try to hide your eating habits someone will noticed and then you just have to prepare for the same questions over and over again. How are you still alive? You are missing out on so much. Have you tried it before?
I am 23 and it is good to hear from the older picky eaters that you are healthy and doing well. I am very picky I don’t eat any meat, fruits or vegetables and I get worried that I maybe doing damage to my body. But I am getting relief from reading your messages. Thank you everyone!
Hi, I’m India. I am almost 15. For as long as I can remember I have only eaten carbs, carbs, carbs, and fruit. I eat pasta everynight for dinner (my parents make it for me though and don’t force me to eat what they do), and I only like corn (has to be on the cob) and potatos as far a veggies go. I have never in my life eaten meat either. I like just about all fruits. I’m big on cheese and dairy, but thats it. It’s so embarassing when you go to friends houses ffor dinner or have big family dinners. I want to change but I feel like I can’t ever…….
Wow. Thank you everyone for sharing their experiences. It is truly a relief to find out that I’m not a solitary freak out there! I’ve been picky my entire life, my parents have told me that I was picky from the get-go. I absolutely hate it, and have always wanted to be able to eat whatever I wanted to eat, and look longingly at the meals I see others eat. For some reason, I seem to be hooked on cooking shows but know that I would never, in a million years, eat what they are showing/cooking. Fortunately, I have gotten better as I’ve gotten older (I’m now 29) so I’m able to eat a lot more than when i was younger. However, I’m now starting to really worry because I am not skilled in making “normal” meals, and am a single mom trying to make sure my 20 month old daughter grows up eating healthy…and normal! It’s very difficult when there are so many people that just tell you, “oh, have you ever even tried it?” or “just make yourself eat it, eventually you’ll like it” yeah, that one’s my favorite, lol. Nice to know that I’m not alone in the way I gag or in the way that I do binge on the foods I am able to eat. This is a very frustrating situation….I’m now overweight because of it, and in my attempts to lose weight I feel as though I hit a brick wall because I just can’t bring myself to eat the right foods/healthy foods. I really related to the one post talking about how she experienced a period of anorexia for a time in her teens (same here, struggled with that for a while) then went to the other end of the spectrum and have verged on bulemia. I do binge, and hate the feeling of being full, but can’t bring myself to actually purge. ugh. The whole thing makes me sick to think about.
I have actually gone to a couple of different therapists to try to address this problem, but have been basically blown off by both of them, or one of them told me to just try something new everyday, and my problem would most likely sort itself out. Sigh.
Thank you for letting me vent:-] Best of luck to all of you!!
After another day of acid intergestion I thought I would have a look around for some info on picky eating. I have been picky for most of the life. I tend to eat easy food (bread, pizza sausages, crisps and of course CHEESE) things that have been micned up or processed in some way and things that I do not need to Bite into to separate. I avoid onions like they will kill me, I have to check each food I buy to make sure it does not contain the dreaded vegtable. I have improved a whole lot since meeting my wife but I still hate social eating situtations and especally work eating situations.
Trying food is hard, I hate the texture of so many different types. Salad just makes me choke. Breaking the skin of a fruit or veg makes me gag and onions actually make me sick.
I am sure it is down to something in my head (like my tounge) but I really want to get to the bottom of this terrible problem and eat a normal meal with my wife with out sifting through it looking for bad things.
I want to eat an apple or even a banana but I am so scared that I just avoid it. For some reason though I like spinach
Its good to see that there are many people out there with picky habits. I can say I am pretty healthy, no health problems and pass all medical and phtsical exams so my picky diet can’t be that bad for me (I am 28 now)
Oh yeah I like my food regimened so nothing contaminates anything else (now that has got to be OCD)
Good luck to all of us!
Wow!! I’m absolutley loving this! pickey eaters unite!! lol, I am 18 and this is basically all I eat:
cheese pizza, spaghetti w/ parmesan and butter only, fetticine alfredo(no garlic & has 2 be the right kind) plain chicken(fried or boiled), french fries and ketchup, chicken ramen noodles, spaghettios, mini raviolis ( i have a hard time with these sometimes though b/c the pieces of meat gross me out), most fruits, breads, NO VEGETABLES
I tend to eat the same meal day after day and it gets sooo old, but even the thought of trying these other foods completley grosses me out and i cant find the “courage” to even attempt this. Does anyone absolutley despise all veggies? im also afraid to eat plain red sauce b/c of the tiny tomatoe chunks i am afraid of finding. We should like have a comittee or something!!! *~Julie~*
Hi, I am so glad I have found this site, because this is the club I belong to. I am 38, living in The Netherlands and a pickey eater since I was 5 years old. My parents never pushed me to eat. Sometimes my mum said: You don’t have to try it, because you don’t like it! Now I am afraid to try new things. I always say: I don’t like it even I have never tried it. But sometimes there are periods in my life I have enough courage to try new things.
Wow, this has been a revelation to me. For the 29 years I’ve been on this planet I have never come across anyone else like me and, like most people, assumed I was just the picky one that annoys everyone else at the dinner table.
I’ve always been a picky eater and, according to my mum, even refused most flavours of baby food. I’m not as bad as I was as a child as now I will eat a few different vegetables (instead of just potato), a couple of “hard” fruits and I can eat a very small amount of meat if I have to but only if I can hide it in potato.
As with most people it seems I am terrified about trying new things and it seems to be very much a smell and texture issue. I can not eat a slab of meat because of the way it looks on the plate and I struggle with most vegetables because to me they have a very bitter smell.
The thing I struggle with most is that other people always seem to want to make an issue out of what I won’t eat. I am happy with what I eat because, although my diet is very limited and unhealthy, I REALLY like the foods I eat. It saddens me in some aspects because I sometimes see things others are eating and would love to try them but I just can’t.
My only real worry with my habits are the fact that I am verging on obese because of them. I have just started on an exercise regime to try and combat it as I know this is part of my problem so hopefully that will help to stop me feeling socially ostracised by more than just my eating habits
I was wondering if anyone could help me. I myself am not a picky eater but my partner is. He survives on nothing but the same sandwiches every day and at a push the occasional pizza. He has only recently told me about his problem and now I am completely unsure how to deal with it. I want to help him but i’m not sure how to, he’s very sensitive about it. None of his friends know and his social life suffers dramatically because of this. Has anyone got any tips on how to be supportive with out sounding patronising? Anything would be greatly appreciated.
Hi there Lou, and hi to everyone.
I would point your partner towards this site, Lou, and then maybe ask him the same question you’ve asked here. From the sound of things I would guess the first most supportive thing you could do would be just to be accepting of it in the first instance. Tell him I said hi, anyway
First of all, I am SO GLAD this website exists.
What picky eating is like for me…it sucks. It’s so stressful when I want to hang out with people and they want to go out to eat. Pretty much the only places I can go to are McDonald’s or Abry’s, and then I can only have the fries. I’m unique because I actually really like some fruit, especially grapes. I’ll also eat lettuce (only the light green kind), carrots, apples, snow peas, and a few other miscilaneous fruits and veggies. Although I’ve gotten a little better since I was younger (i’ll force myself to swallow rice & paste at my school cafeteria), it’s still very debilitating. Since I just started college, I can’t afford to go out all the time and buy food which I go through quickly anyway so I’ve been eating a lot less since the school doesn’t really offer a lot of stuff I’d really LIKE to eat. It’s a problem because I’ve made a really good friend who thinks I’m anorexic. I explained to him I’m just super-picky but I was afraid to explain to him the degree to which I was picky. Still, it’s frustrating. Today I tried to eat some baked cheese ravioli. It looked plain disgusting but I figured I should try to swallow it anyway. I got a very very very tiny bite down. The next one I swallowed a tiny one and I felt like I was going to throw up so I dumped it then.
If anyway happens to have ANY IDEA how to even sort of treat it, I’d appreciate it!
My boyfriend is a very picky eater. He won’t eat vegetables of any kind, and only eat meat. Even if the meal consist only of meat, if he doesn’t like it he won’t eat it. For instance, I just boiled some shrimp dumplings that only had a little bit of mushroom in it and he spit it out. When he ordered take out if it has vegetable in it he stops eating. This frustrates me, especially since he has a fast metabolism and lose weight like crazy.
So I was going to start this diet today and just “Suck it up” and gag down the fruits and veggies. I quickly realized it’s not possible. I cannot make myself eat them. Like many of you, it’s a texture thing. It is humiliating and makes it extremely impossible to diet. I can do sweet potatoes and some veggies like broccoli if they are very well cooked. But fresh fruits make me puke the moment they hit my mouth.
I really want to change. Everyone things I’m crazy. Isn’t there something I can do? Isn’t there a diagnosis besides “crazy” and “picky”? PLEASE HELP I AM DESPERATE!
Just checking back in. I had some insights that someone might find useful:
I quit smoking and drinking and caffeine last spring. I found this site while on a search for personal care/growth similar to my searches for answers on substance issues. For me, it’s all the same kind of bundle of stuff: issues of control, ritualized behaviour, ingrained habits, family baggage. Stuff I’ve done a lot to get past.
For the record, I’m back to occasional drinks and mochaccinos (fortunately I never qualified as an actual addict) but exercise regularly, do not smoke, and am doing great. I am still a bit of a weird eater but am not really thinking about it. I pick up new things at Safeway and pick items off menus, sometimes new items. If someone’s being a jerk about it, I’ll let them know. I decided to let myself have food preferences but not limit myself to them. The more I or someone else makes a big deal out of it, the worse it is. I am very aware of the food groups and work to include them in my daily diet. And I’m comfortable with where I’m at. and, for the record, my ideal body weight.
Again, you guys all rock. Good luck! Stay healthy.
Just to be clear: I am not presuming my own experience is the same as everyone else’s!
I am SO HAPPY I found this site! No one around me understands whats its like to be picky- and I am always mortified going to someones house, or out to eat with a boss.
Its terrible.
And I don’t want to be this way!!!!
For example- I have tried salad over and over again, and I can’t do it. It makes me so sick to chew it- the texture is disgusting- its just some mental barrier I can’t get over! My other big barrier is can’t stand eating two different textures- like i will not eat lasagna because I can’t stand the warm cheese with sticky pasta with chruchy onions and chewy meat. Eugh…
I feel like im digging myself an early grave by not eating any veggies and any healthy food.
My 15 year old adopyed granddaughter is a very picky eater she only eats pizza, chicken breast with nothing on it . She will not eat anything with sauce and she eats cold ceral and sausauge. She will eat a chicken sandwich but completely plain. I really beleive this is all she eats. My daughter and son in law are always fighting about my son in law allowing her to not eat dinner and to just eat what she wants. Oh peanut butter and jelly sandwichs she loves. Chris is having a big formal sweet 16 party and only wants pizza served, this is at a banquet hall with a DJ. I explained to her that there are other people who are there who would like to eat more then pizza and that is was fancy, but she said i just want pizza and a few chips. I have read all the blogs and want to know is this an illness or considered an eating disorder? Should we seek help foe her or try to force her to eat, we are concerned and worried about her.
Here is one idea for your granddaughter: Have her sweet 16 catered by a fancy pizzaria and order several different kinds of pizza. Also buy different kinds of chips. That way, she gets to eat what she wants, and her friends get to have a lot of food choices.
Hi Claire,
You’ve put it into words that I never could… it’s all that and more. I get the gag / choking / panic reflex, a phobia is the best analogy I can come up with. It’s not for lack of want – people can’t seem to understand that it’s not an active choice. I would love to eat normally more than anything. I’d trade anything & everything to enjoy food.
Accessing any kind of help seems impossible… medical professionals seem unaware. “You need to eat better” – great advice doc!
Hopefully starting CBT in the next few weeks see if I’ve any luck that way. It’s a complete mental block & something that drives me crazy.
Good luck to all battling this.
I know everyone else has already said it, but I can’t believe there’s a site for this! I’m almost 20 years old (American, but moving to England, so perhaps I count as a UK picky eater!) and have been labelled as “very picky” my entire life, and even though I use the term “picky,” I’ve always felt like I never had any choice in the matter. Like a lot of you, I can only eat potatoes and corn for vegetables, mostly because of the texture and odor. I love tomato sauce and inhale pizza and mozerella sticks and the like, but for some reason I can’t eat large quantites of tomato sauce on pasta without feeling sick. I’d rather slather my pasta in cheese, which I love in pretty much all forms. Fruits I can’t eat for the texture, but I LOVE fruit juice and smoothies and fruit-flavored things (though I can’t deal with pineapple, and peel a citrus fruit in the same room as me and you’ve HAD it). I hate the sound of fresh vegetables and fruit being eaten or sliced, and I can’t touch or go too close to vegetables because I think the smell will get on my hands or something. I love hot dogs and I like bacon, but sometimes I can’t handle bacon because it’s too chewy. I’m particular about my chicken as well, but I can manage it in most forms. In the past year, I’ve been able to manage hamburgers, but I’ve tried and failed with steak. Fish is an absolute no-go. I’ve been getting better and better year by year, but even though occasionally I can broaden my horizons by one or two food products a year, I know I’m never going to be able to eat perfectly normally. I’ve considered hypnosis for the sake of my health, but it’s encouraging to see so many older people that have made it mostly unscathed
.
I can be a bit insane about other things related to food…for the most part, I can’t stand watching food being prepared, even my own. I eat lots of things with a knife and fork even when it’s not required. I need separate peices of silverware for a lot of food items, and none of my foods that aren’t self-contained (i.e., have any chance of leaking or oozing onto each other) can touch, which usually means separate plates. When I’m full, even safe foods repulse me, and I can’t think about putting anything solid into my mouth until I digest.
Even though I’ve never really cared what people think about me in any form, my food aversions can be embarrassing at sit-down dinners, especially when someone else has cooked something at home. I’m an expert at cutting up my food and mushing it around to make it look like I ate something, but I could never hide it for fear of being found out. I usually just say that I have a “small stomach” (which I do…I can’t eat large quantities even of safe foods for the most part) and people never expect me to eat a lot, but I always am embarrassed when they look down at my plate and see hardly any food missing. I don’t care what other people think about me and my food issues, but I always feel terrible about wasting food or the money that was spent on the food, and worry about offending the host.
I wonder where all this came from, since my parents say I used to eat everything until I was about four or five. While they were never extremely strict and they never said anything like “you MUST eat this, you can’t leave until you do,” they badger me about it to this day. I’ve learned to shut off my ears and wait till the topic is changed, because it’s not like I’m doing it to defy them or be original…I just CAN’T eat certain things. My friends just know I’m “selective” and eat small quantites and for the most part don’t notice anything that irregular, since I’m a normal weight and height and am actually never, ever sick. I think I must be a sponge or something that sucks nutrients from the air.
I’ve always known I was picky, of course, but I’ve never thought it was an actual disorder or anything like that. I started to explain my eating habits to a friend yesterday, putting it all into words for the first time, and it made me wonder, so I got to googling and realized that there are more people out there like me than I thought. I read all the comments and they almost made me cry, because now I know it’s not just me being stubborn and that I’m not kidding myself when I say I physically CAN’T put certain things into my mouth. because I know I’ll gag or throw up. Thank you for this site! I was a bit worried that it was now defunct, but I see 2009 posts at the bottom!
Even if it was defunct, though, it was wonderful to read all the old comments.
Thanks to you all for sharing!
Picky eating to me is that I eat out of habit not because I really love it and want it. I do not eat any vegetables or fruit. I do not eat out things I do not know what ingredients were used. I do not like eating other peoples cooking. In fact I don’t like eating except for junk. I love chocolate, chips and used to like nuts but have diverticular disease and can’t eat them now. I stopped eating apparently when I was about 3. Before that I ate everything even things I should eat. Mum and dad worried about my eating and would take me to the drs who fobbed them off as being neurotic. They tried to force me a couple of times, never good. I vomit. I was made to stay at the table , I would sit ALL night if I had to. I would hide food in my pockets, shoes etc. I can’t go to restaurants or friends for dinner. I could not even buy fruit and vegies , now I can. Progress! I have a very limited diet and it impacts on my life immensely. I hate it . Good to know though at 40 there are others who understand. Maybe together we can have our plight seriously looked at so that we can aim for some sort of health diet and normality. I was always so thin, but at 40 it seems to have caught up to me. How do you diet when you have such a limited range to start with? I do not want my children to suffer as I do. I can see my children learning stuff from me I would rather they didn’t, despite my best efforts. My husband suffers as I hate cooking, eating etc. When we go out he eats both our meals. Not great for him either obviously. Lets hope that someday soon they nail the cause and possible treatments to help us all. I think it is a smell, textural and unknown thing. I am too anxious to try new things. I hate the smell of things like asparagus, cabbage etc I can’t stomach mushy foods. Have tried crunchy carrot and celery. Kept down but don’t like. Can’t try to often is totally overwhelming.
Sorry this is so long, trying to share 40 years of frustration. Feel better already!! There is hope;)
Lizette
hey i am very picky on what i eat things i mostly eat is fruit,junk food, chips and for pop its cream soda,sprite and pepsie i feel so good saying what i am picky about know i don’t have to hide it again
hey i am a personal trainer and a picky eater. i am only 21 but my diet consists of plain pasta no sauce, cheese pizza, crumbed chicken by itself. i don’t eat any veggies at all and my mother is a vegan. my brother sister and father eat ne thing u put in front of them. i used to eat lots of take away such as maccas and kfc but found ordering a mcchicken burger with no lettuce and no mayo a tad bit embarrassing around my friends. i used to eat lollies chocolate cakes sweets etc and a lot of bread. wno that i’m a personal trainer i found it easy to eliminate the unhealthy stuff out of my diet but still can’t find enough goodness in the very few meals i can eat. it really makes me mad that i can’t eat other food. i try to try new things but i just stare at it on my plate and can’t put it to my mouth or if i do i have already decided i’m not going to like it and so i don’t .. does ne one know of ne way to cure it!
Hi, I just came across this lick when i decided to google picky eaters as i was feeling quite down about not being able to eat what other people eat. You see my fiance has a great appetite and will eat pretty much anything, but i only have about 20 things that i can eat. i went out for dinner with his family recently and i ordered a plate of chips as thats the only thing that i can generally eat in restaurants as there are too many variables in the food they serve so i stick with chips as they are usually the same no matter where you get them. anyway, the evening was horrible, from the moment the waiter took the order i wanted to cry. waiter made a big deal about me ordering just chips in his fine dining restuarant, he wasnt impressed, this led to my fiances family listing off every dish on the menu saying “get this, try this”,etc. My refusal only added to their amusement and they then spent the next 2hours making jokes at my expense and claiming that picky eaters are just attention seekers and alot of other ridiculous claims. i left the restaurant feeling so low that all i could do was cry myself to sleep. so i decided to google picky eaters and so i came across this site. Its such a relief to know that im not the only one whose food intake is limited! so thank you for starting this blog as im finding it so helpful reading ur articles! please keep up the good work.
I am a 42yo picky eater, I have always been this way. Going to people’s houses for meals is very stressful for me. I found a lot of answers by reading this author’s books: http://www.hsperson.com/ Highly sensitive people often reject foods due to texture, flavor, association, appearance and/or smell.
A friend recently linked to this blog and I’m so happy she did. I’m 30 years old and I’ve been picky since I was about two. I know a lot of my pickiness comes from texture issues (pulp – like tomatoes or oranges – makes me gag no matter what I try), but some of it I just don’t know. I’ve long suspected I’m a super-taster, based on some bitterness issues with things I have tried, but even that doesn’t explain everything I avoid.
Onions and tomatoes are my biggest issues, mainly because I come from an Italian-American family, so they’re impossible to completely avoid. I’ve gotten better at scraping off the pulpy/seedy/skin bits where I can and just coping with the rest, but it took 25 years for me to do that.
Some things I just haven’t been able to do. When I was a kid, one of my best friends loves strawberries so much, she couldn’t believe I’d never had one. After years of pressure, I tried one. It took me ten minutes to work up the nerve to put it in my mouth and bite down. Then I had to spit it right back out. I love the smell of cooking bell peppers but I have yet to bring myself to be able to put a piece of pepper in my mouth.
It’s frustrating and so often dismissed as being no big deal, so I’m thrilled to find I’m not alone.